If I Were the Fashion Police

When I was growing up, my mother was my idea of a fashionable person.  She was tiny, about 5′ 2″, and weighed  around 90 – 95 pounds.  She dressed in “housedresses” during the day but changed in the evenings.  She wore lovely dresses and always with high heels.  I vividly remember a day when she brought home a new baby and she was wearing a beautiful green dress and I thought she looked heavenly!

I seldom wear dresses and often wear jeans, t-shirts, and running shoes.  I am not fashionable.

But at the risk of sounding like an old crank I have to comment on some of  the crimes against fashion that I see every day.

  • Droopy Drawers – Boys who wear their pants hanging low, showing their underwear.  They have to walk with their legs far apart so their pants won’t fall right off.  I once saw a guy walking along and the waist of his pants was under his butt.  He was wearing  blue plaid boxers, by the way.
  • Bouncy Cleavage – It’s like they’re saying, “Look, look at me.  I’ve got breasts.”  Summer, winter, it doesn’t matter, they are showing things that used to be displayed only in the fold-out pages of certain magazines. 
  • Flip-flops  – As soon as the last of the snow has gone, out come these “shoes”.  They clip clop along in their flip flops and  I’ve had to laugh when they walk right out of them. 
  • The Micro-mini – These are usually Catholic School uniforms.  They barely cover the essentials and it is a sight indeed in the depths of winter, with snow knee-deep, howling winds, and icy sidewalks to see these girls wearing their short, short skirts with bare legs!  They stand waiting for the bus and I’m sure they are praying to God to make the bus come soon.
  • Tattoos – They speak for themselves.

If I were the fashion police, you’d never have to see any of these eyesores again!



9 responses

  1. I hereby nominate YOU for the fashion police squad! Excellent post; wonderful ideas. I guess maybe now I won’t have that tattoo done on my …..but……it would have been sweet. lol

  2. I hate tattoos. And piercing (other than earlobes). I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago… bride, maid of honor, mother of the groom – all tattooed. and the maid of honor had pierced eyebrow and lip.

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