BA (Failed)

In some parts of the British Empire, it used to be considered very important to have gone to university.  Notice I said gone to university, not graduated from university.  I have actually seen, with my own eyeballs, a person sign his name like this:

John Smith, B.A. (Failed)

That’s right!   Failed!  I can’t imagine that happening today, in our society.  But just think of all the wonderful possibilities for padding your resume! 

  • PhD in Nuclear Science (Thought About It, Decided Against it)
  • Worked with Stephen Hawking (Cleaned his Office)
  • Teaching Degree (Didn’t Like Kids)
  • Team Player (Little League Baseball)
  • Good with People (Read People Magazine Every Chance I Get)
  • Fast Thinker (Have Slowed Down Somewhat)
  • Willing to Work from Dawn to Dusk (With Frequent Breaks)
  • Love to Work Weekends (When I’m Unsupervised)
  • Will Work for Minimum Wage (Minimum Work)
  • Interested in Your Company (What was it Again?)
  • Willing to Forego Pay Increases for Five Years (If the Salary is Huge to Start With)
  • Varied Interests (Internet Games)
  • Computer Expert (Specializing in Solitaire)
  • Qualified in First Aid (Treated  my Own Colds for Years)
  • BSc in Geology (They took me for Granite)

Honesty – you’ve got to love it!!!



13 responses

  1. LOL
    At least those nutty people are not liars. ha ha
    I wonder if I ought to sign my name, “Helen, former beauty queen….NOT)?
    love it

  2. LOLOLOL I love this!

    I actually didn’t finish my first studies (although I was at uni for 4 years … but couldn’t study the last 2 years because I was so sick) and still feel ashamed about it. Although I have to admit I learned something! 😉

    My actual studies are going to be finished, though, lalala. Some time this year.

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