You Know You’re Old If…

This morning my husband and I had a discussion about age.  It went something like this:

Hubby:  We aren’t old yet, are we?

Me: We-ell…

Hubby: What would you say old is?  75?  80?

Me:  Maybe 70.

Hubby:  Well, I guess we’ll decide when we get there.

How can we tell if we’re old?  I mean the Government of Canada has given us cards that say we are.  These are the exact words:

The holder of this card receives a benefit under the Old Age Security Act.  The Government of Canada asks that you extend all possible privileges to the cardholder.

Yeah, right.  I’d like to see that happen!

You can tell you’re old…

  • if your idea of getting lucky is finding the last box of  bran on the grocery store shelf.
  • if your idea of a hot time is when your hot flashes begin to set off the smoke alarm.
  • if your legs are beginning to look like a Rand McNally Road Atlas map.
  • if the crow’s-feet around your eyes and the laugh lines around your mouth meet in the middle of your face.
  • if you stay out of certain stores because of the loud music.
  • if you go out to dinner before school is out in the afternoon.
  • if the car you drive is bigger than the PEI Ferry.
  • if your idea of a tailored outfit is tucking your shirt into the elastic waistband of your track suit.
  • if your idea of exercise is getting up four times during the night to use the washroom.

Of course I can’t relate to any of these, except maybe the one about…

I know from experience that retirement is a wonderful stage of life.  I love every day and try not to take any for granted.  They are filled with things to do but I can do them at a leisurely pace.  I take joy in discovering new things to do and new people to meet.  I am taking classes and reading books, painting pictures and listening to music. 

I take great delight in my eight grandchildren and love listening to their ideas of the world around them.  When Brynn says she loves when Grandma is silly, or Damiano keeps measuring himself to see if he is getting to be as tall as I am, or Emil tells me he is allowed to watch PG movies without his parents (he’s NOT allowed, by the way), when Enid tells me she is going to go to Japan to teach school, or Owen tells me he thinks I have a hearing problem, or Cameron and Enzo talk about their hockey games, I treasure each moment.  I would not be younger for anything. 

Well, maybe just a little younger!



10 responses

  1. Funny stuff. I found you through Nancy, who rocks. I just did a blog that essentially said you know you are old when you realize, at the pediatrician, that your child is no longer checking out the giggling teens, but the young moms!

    • Here is my scientific explanation – the noise to signal ratio of the decibels of the “music” cancels out the noise to signal ratio of the hearing loss. Of course the real explanation is that our ears have a sensitivity to that stuff. The scientific explanation was totally made-up, from snippets of conversation with my hubby!!! LOL.

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